They are separated into three sub-layers called the dura mater, the arachnoid mater, and the pia mater. Youll be sure to brighten someones day when you unleash a hilarious joke when they least expect it. ” – Milton Jones “I had a dream last night that I was. I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now. 105 of the funniest short jokes that will have you laughing in seconds “My phone will ring at 2am and my wife’ll look at me and go, “Who’s that calling at this time?” I say, “I don’t know. Mater is Latin for mother, since their primary function is to protect the central nervous system. Our funny one-liner jokes are short, sweet and make you laugh. What is in a ghost’s nose? Boo-gers. Always remember that youre unique, just like everyone else. Tumor: More than one, an extra pair. Lance is an uncommon name nowadays. In this full special from Dry Bar Comedy, Geechy Guy lays d. Try the seafood diet—you see food, then you eat it. He was known for double meanings embedded in his one-liners, along with his ever-present cigar, prominent eyebrows, and glasses. 11 Extremely Funny One Liner Jokes “Do Transformers get car, or life insurance?” Russell Howard “I’m on a whiskey diet. A one-liner joke is a joke delivered in a single line. “What is worse than ants in your pants? Uncles” – Unknown 3. A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar. Here are some funny one liners to make you laugh: 1. Report 227 points POST THIS IS HILARIOUS 22 View more comments #2 Will glass coffins be a success? Remains to be seen. #1 Adam & Eve were the first ones to ignore the Apple terms and conditions. Welcome to All Things Foolish™ Daily Comedy Broadcast series featuring Comedy Vignette #120 which is your number one source for funniest one liners ever hear. Stop looking for the perfect match; use a lighter. What are some of the best one liners you have ever heard? Try these on for size: a collection of our favorite gags from some of the worlds greatest comedians. Two peanuts walk into a bar, one was assaulted. Change is inevitable—except from a vending machine. Why did Friday work out? It was a weak day for him. One liners are great. One morning, I shot an elephant in my pajamas. Why did the ghost go into the bar? For the Boos. The barman says, Sorry we dont serve food in here. 180 Best Dad Jokes of All Time. 105 of the funniest short jokes that will have you laughing in seconds “My phone will ring at 2am and my wife’ll look at me and go, “Who’s that calling at this time?” I say, “I don’t know. Some comedians use one-liners as a basis for their comedic method. 148 Dad Jokes That Are Actually Funny. Welcome to All Things Foolish™ Daily Comedy Broadcast series featuring Comedy Vignette #116 which is your number one source for funniest one liners ever hear. Lets be honest, Im not into summer, fall, or winter cleaning either. Punchy, concise, and clever, they often make use of play on words, double meaning, or double-entendre. In the joke world hierarchy, one-liners are a gem: theyre easy to remember, take no time to tell, and if crafted just right pack a mightier punch than a joke with a longer set up. 105 of the funniest short jokes that will have you laughing in seconds “My phone will ring at 2am and my wife’ll look at me and go, “Who’s that calling at this time?” I say, “I don’t know. ] [Jerry Seinfeld uses this technique. One liner tags: blonde, death, sarcastic, time 85. ( Only a fraction of people will get this clean joke. 1) “Have you ever noticed… [fill in with something you find interesting or funny. 20 View More Replies View more comments #3. 50 One-Liners from Stand-Up Comedy Legends / Purple Clover Classic jokes that still stand up Classic jokes that still stand up Purple Clover Relationships Marriage Sex Dating Memoirs Family. What do a tick and the Eiffel Tower have in common? Theyre both Paris sites. Im not a fan of spring cleaning. 45 Funny Christian Jokes Canva/Parade 1. Some people think prison is one word, but to robbers, its the whole sentence. You could read it as “seriously” or as “a joke didn’t walk into the. A one-liner, also known as a punchline in some cases, is a truly remarkable form of a joke. ” Tommy Cooper “I was married by a judge. I just got my doctors test results and Im really upset about it. I had a dream about being a muffler. Reply 9 69ingJamesFranco • 9 yr. 11 Extremely Funny One Liner Jokes “Do Transformers get car, or life insurance?” Russell Howard “I’m on a whiskey diet. The best funny one-liners Shutterstock Going to church doesnt make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. That reminds me of another one I heard: I want to go skydiving before I die. - Milton Jones I had a dream last night that I was cutting carrots with the Grim. A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar. 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With jokes about everything from mummies to zombies to pumpkins (and even some cheesy dad jokes), finding the perfect spook-tacular one-liner will be the least of your worries. The Stupidest Thing I Ever Heard In My Life Is That A Baby Is Smart. Im afraid of speed bumps, but I am slowly getting over it. Absolutely hilarious one liners! The largest collection of the best one line jokes in the world. The last thing I want to do is hurt you, my love. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long. Moreover, they can always help you avoid silly moments of silence when youre with your friends. I went back to sleep right away. Bad jokes can be short, corny, punny, and deliver some of the best one-liners ever. One liner tags: puns. The creative prowess of a writer, or a jokester, in this case, shines through the most when concentrated in the least possible words. Please continue while I take notes. 25 Clever Jokes That Make You Sound Smart. 4653 Funny One Liners. Before I criticize a man, I like to walk a mile in his shoes. Explanation: “No joke” has a double meaning here. Funny one-liners 1. My friends keep pressuring me to go spelunking, so I finally caved. Golfer A: “Let’s get a group photo here on the first tee. They asked me to follow my dreams. Funny One Liner Jokes 1. The cops have nothing to go on. Funny comeback: This one cuts deep “Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone. I failed math so many times at school, I can’t even count. What did one plate whisper to the other plate? Dinner is on me. What is the best Friday of the year for the faithful? The Good Friday. Make sure to use extra sarcasm. Relationships are a lot like algebra. There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. This one is so bad you just have to laugh at it. Welcome to All Things Foolish™ Daily Comedy Broadcast series featuring Comedy Vignette #116 which is your number one source for funniest one liners ever hear. However, it was Groucho Marx who became the reigning king of comedy in the 1940s. Funny One Liner Jokes 1. Welcome to All Things Foolish™ Daily Comedy Broadcast series featuring Comedy Vignette #118 which is your number one source for funniest one liner, funniest. 11 Clean One Liner Jokes. I wanted to take a bath, but then decided to leave it where it is. Funny Groucho Marx Quotes. Dark Humor Jokes That Are Twisted, Morbid and Funny >100 Dark Humor Jokes That Are Twisted, Morbid and Funny. Some of the best one-liner comedians include Milton Jones, Shappi Khorsandi, Jimmy Carr, Tim Vine and Steven. He keeps trying to convince me hes a compulsive liar, but I dont believe him. Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, Im not going to go spreading it!. The best funny one-liners Shutterstock Going to church doesnt make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. Funny Jokes About Friday. com%2f1040121%2fmarynliles%2fone-liners%2f/RK=2/RS=ULUGahZ5t51fcFDAaZBsM3. 50 One-Liners from Stand-Up Comedy Legends / Purple Clover Classic jokes that still stand up Classic jokes that still stand up Purple Clover Relationships Marriage Sex Dating Memoirs Family. Which day do potatoes fear the most? Fry-days. 175 Bad Jokes That You Can’t Help But Laugh At. I never forget a face, but in your case Ill make an exception. Funny one-liners 1. Wayne While Wayne and the others are often busy with chorin they certainly still make time for a lot of immature conversations. What is worse than ants in your pants? Uncles - Unknown 3. 3) Whats a comedians least favorite drink? [Booze] I threw a boomerang a few years ago. But in medieval times people were named Lance a lot. What kind of concert only costs 45 cents? A 50 Cent concert featuring Nickelback. Funny one-liners 1. Most of these cute one liners are from the iconic comedians and others are from random people. That reminds me of another one I heard: I want to go skydiving before I die. Why did Adele cross the road? To say hello from the other side. Best One Liners Ever With these best one liners ever, you can find yourself laughing like a crazed hyena. They make us groan, say “Are you serious?”, and, of course, make us chuckle. “Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time. ” — @BHGolfEquipment ————————- 40. They are separated into three sub-layers called the dura mater, the arachnoid mater, and the pia mater. 100 Dark Humor Jokes That Are Twisted, Morbid and Funny. Youll have trouble putting on your pants. One liner tags: puns. In the joke world hierarchy, one-liners are a gem: they’re easy to remember, take no time to tell, and if crafted just right pack a mightier punch than a joke with a longer set up. 1) Have you ever noticed… [fill in with something you find interesting or funny. 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Music legends with some of the best old hound dogs they ever did know Puppy Love: The 25 Greatest Dogs in Pop Culture History Icons of classic films and TV, from Toto and Lassie to Uggie and a British beagle made entirely of clay. The man stands up, clears his throat, and says Plethora. What did one plate whisper to the other plate? Dinner is on me. 25 hilarious dad jokes that will make you laugh and groan. The wife smiles, and says Thank you, that means a lot. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. ” Groucho Marx “The problem with kleptomaniacs is that they always take things literally. 42 of the funniest lines you’ve heard on the golf course. The most one-liner jokes youll ever hear in a full comedy special might just be from Geechy Guy. ” (Long pause) Golfer B: “Yeahhow ‘bout YOU take it?” — @JerryLouLooper ————————- 41. 90 Good Comebacks, Roasts & One. When somebody says that you are. Here are some famous one liner jokes that can easily lift your spirits. 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I Spy. ago I skydive and sometimes hear things like this around the drop zone: If your parachute fails, you have the rest of your life to fix it. Welcome to All Things Foolish™ Daily Comedy Broadcast series featuring Comedy Vignette #118 which is your number one source for funniest one liner, funniest. I went to buy some camo pants but couldn’t find any. 11 Extremely Funny One Liner Jokes “Do Transformers get car, or life insurance?” Russell Howard “I’m on a whiskey diet. Funny Ghost and Goblin Jokes Cavan Images Why do ghosts go on diets? So they can keep their ghoulish figures Where does a ghost go on vacation? Mali-boo. 1) “Have you ever noticed… [fill in with something you find interesting or funny. And, to use as few words as possible and still. 36 Witty & Wacky Icebreaker Jokes To Tell At Your Next Meeting. What did Jonahs family say when he told them about what happened before reaching Nineveh? Hmm, sounds fishy. 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